“So, do you think you’ve changed over the past year?”
“Oh, yeah. I’ve changed a lot.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’ve realized I don’t need as many friends. I appreciate my family more. I can be alone…and honestly, I think I prefer it…. What about you? Have you changed?”
“Oh, I think I’ve changed quite a bit. The biggest thing is I realized I needed to stop drinking, for one. That was a big change that affected me a lot more than I would’ve guessed. It made me more focused on people, on helping them and such. It made me reprioritize my values. I don’t think I’m the same person anymore, not at all.”
“How long have you stopped drinking?”
“Almost a year. Just a bit less. So about 11 months.”
“Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I drank either.”
“It’s nice, right?”
“I suppose.”
“You know what I’m most surprised by?”
“What?”
“How normal it all feels. Between us, I mean.”
“You think it’s normal?”
“Well, maybe not normal. But it’s comfortable. Kind of feels like how it used to be, you know?”
“I guess so, yeah.”
“So do you think there’s a chance we could be friends again?”
“I don’t even know what that means between us, or what that would even look like.”
“Look, I am trying to make amends. And I don’t think you realize the amount of effort I’m willing to put into this. To just, you know, be able to feel comfortable reaching out when we’re in the same city, or calling you on your birthday, or giving you a Christmas gift—you know? That’s what I’d like from us. And I know it won’t be like it used to be. But I’m just asking that you let us try again. That’s all.”
“Do you know every single one of my friends told me not to see you?”
“No, but I don’t blame them. I think if I was in their shoes I’d tell you the same thing.”
“Then how can you expect me to try this?”
“I can’t. And honestly, I don’t. But I’m hoping you will. I’m hoping really, really bad that you’re willing to take a risk and see what happens. Let me ask you something—what’s the worst that can happen?”
“I get hurt again.”
“Yeah, well, that’s true I guess.”
“Mhmm.”
“But—”
“How can I trust you? We’ve done this so many times now. So many times. It’s like we’re carouselling thinking we’re flying on a horse, but we’re just going around and around, going nowhere.”
“I totally get that. I do. I’m nervous about this, too. But I guess, at the end of the day, the question really becomes, do you think people can change?”