The Past
I think I’m in that part of life when everyone’s hopping on the marriage train, so I’ve been thinking about speeches a lot. I’ve wanted to take a public-speaking class for about six years now, but have never done it. My high school offered one, and the first assignment was to write a toast. My girlfriend at the time took it, and said she liked it. My quasi-senile step-grandfather tells me every time we speak on the phone to sign up for Toastmasters.
A few weeks back, went to a pair of coworkers’ wedding. The groom’s dad’s speech was hilarious. The bride’s dad’s speech was terrible. It was a tough act to follow to be fair, but that wasn’t why it was bad; it just kinda sucked.
The Future
My good, good friend from college eloped a few months ago, and she just asked my other good, good friend to be her bridesmaid. She’ll probably ask my first love to be a bridesmaid too, if she hasn’t already. A few months back, I saw my first love for the first time a few years; we got dinner one night and talked about weddings; we talked about the exact engagement ring she wants; we talked about if she’d take his last name or hyphenate it or make up a new last name or just keep the last names as they are—but, you see, apparently, that causes complications for children down the road. We also talked about what I wanted. But I won’t have to make a speech for that wedding. I’ll just watch the bridesmaids from a distance.
My best friend seems to be wandering into marriage faster than I think he realizes. My brother is full-steam ahead for marriage too. I expect I’ll be the best man for both of those in the next few years. My brother’s speech will be a piece of cake. I’ve been outlining it in my head for a few years, on and off. But my best friend’s speech has stumped me. I have no idea what I’ll say.
The Present
I don’t know a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll get married. I don’t know who should be my groomsmen much less my Best Man. I don’t know if I’ll have a son or a daughter. I don’t know if they’ll want me to speak at their wedding. I don’t know if they’ll want me to speak at all. For all I know I’ll be a dead-beat dad, or maybe just a dead dad, no beating at all. I’ve never really thought I’d live to be that old, which is a morbid thing that I say consistently enough to worry my friends.1But that’s just how I feel. I just see myself dying in a car crash in my thirties, you know? It always reminds me of Twenty One Pilots lyrics:
I used to say, “I wanna die before I’m old”
But because of you, I might think twice.