Wow, these lights are bright. I do not like them. Ugh, stop it’s so horrible. What is that beeping sound? Maybe I should sit up and look around…. Christ, I’m weak. Am I really out of breath from that? And what the fuck is this thing doing in my—garg-ag-arg. Eew. Probably should have left that in me. Haha, that’s what she said. Focus, focus now. So I’m in a hospital. And holy fucking shit, my legs are skinny. That’s okay, calm down. Relax. They’re skinny. I’m in a hospital. Feeding tube. Catheter. Was I in a fucking coma? Is a nurse around here? Of course not. What time is it? 4:30 in the morning? Hmm. Those lights aren’t so bright. Okay, okay, okay. Think, think, think. Coma. What’s the last thing I remember? I was outside. I was outside riding my bike. But where? Why? It was November, I remember that. And I had an envelope. An important envelope. And I was biking, and a car pulled out—that’s it! I flipped over a car. It was slow motion baby. Like that medieval movie where nobody has any armor, just abs. Anyway, I remember watching the envelope flutter away from me as I tumbled through the air, and it fell down… the storm drain. God damn it. Okay, what was in the envelope? It was important; I know that. Think, you dummy. Think. Hmm.… Biking. November. Envelo—an election! A ballot! I was voting. That’s it! I filled out my ballot and was going to go vote and it fell down the fucking storm drain. Oh well, not like it really mattered. Does it ever? Okay, fuck I’m hungry. Time to get a nurse in here. Let me just rip this off so they think my heart stopped beating….
“Good morning, Mr. Nurse! How are you doing this beautiful day?”
“Oh my god, he’s awake. I’m going to need help in here!”
“Yep. Slept like a kitten. And let me tell you, I feel like I woke up in a whole new universe. So tell me, Mr. Nurse, how long was I out for?”
“Sir, you were in a serious accident. I need you to calm do—Can someone help me?—calm down now. You were in a serious accident, suffering traumatic injuries to your head nearly six years ago.”
“Six years ago? I’ve never been a punctual person, but oh my, that is a long time. Did anything happen that I should know about?”
“Uh, what’s the last thing you remember?”
“I was going to vote in the election.”
“Oh, well, let’s see. RGB died.”
“Oh fuck.”
“Oh, you think that’s bad? That was the easy stuff.”